


Aria

by nereidee (aurasama)



Series: A Lover's Lament [2]
Category: Amnesia: The Dark Descent
Genre: Deception, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2016-09-10
Packaged: 2018-08-14 05:25:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8000188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aurasama/pseuds/nereidee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alexander had not meant for Daniel to fall in love with him, nor had he meant to take advantage of those feelings. But he was running out of time; he had to get home, no matter the consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Aria

He had not meant for it to go that far.  
  
But when he'd heard Daniel cry out in the dead of the night, roused by his nightmares, he'd rushed to the man's bedside without a second thought. He'd only ever meant to offer him comfort, but the brunette had trembled like a terrified child, his tired eyes wide with fear, and Alexander couldn't help pitying him. Humans were so simple, so fragile. So temporary. Cradling the shaking man in his arms had turned into gentle fingers carding through his hair, words of comfort into tentative kisses. Neither of them had known what they were doing, and they had reached an unspoken agreement not to mention it.  
  
He had known all along that he couldn't save the man from the Guardian; the beast would track him down even if he fled across the fabric of time and space itself, and Alexander had accepted it as a necessary sacrifice. At least one of them could be spared; at least he could leave that forsaken world behind with the Orb the Englishman had discovered. And when they embraced wordlessly after Daniel had awoken from another episode of nightmares and fell down on his bed as one, he tried not to think of his betrayal.  
  
”We need to ward off the Shadow,” he said to the younger man one morning. And Daniel nodded, weary with fright and his brown eyes so trusting, so certain of his protection.  
  
”It wasn't enough. You have to kill another,” he said later. And thought the younger man had collapsed into a shaking heap following the ritual, his hands stained with blood and a haunted look in his eyes, still he trusted and trusted, his certainty never wavering. Alexander held him close through his nightly terrors and returned his needy kisses, and whispered away his mortal fears when the Shadow crept into his dreams. And the brunette clung to him like a drowning man, and Alexander felt guilt mixing with the sense of purpose that had carried him through the long, lonely centuries of his exile.  
  
”You have nothing to fear, Daniel. You'll live through this,” he whispered into the younger man's ear when they felt the first signs of the approaching Shadow, and for the first time he wished it hadn't been a lie. He prised the knife off the terrified man's hands and took him away from the underground chambers, gently persuading his mind off the rituals that were slowly breaking him. Alexander read to him and caressed his hair until his breathing eased, and lingered in his bed as long as he needed him. So temporary his affections, yet altogether unavoidable.  
  
In the long hours of the night when their fingers were laced together and their bodies moved into the same rhythm like they were one and the same being, Alexander allowed himself to forget. During those hours, and those hours only, he wasn't made of stone, unbreakable and uncaring. He pushed the future off his mind, murmuring promises of sweet saccharine into the other man's ear and replacing his sleep-deprived dread with exhaustion of another kind until neither of them could think no more. And when Daniel slept in the safety of his embrace afterwards, he allowed himself to linger on the make-belief of his empty promises until he nearly believed them himself.  
  
During those hours, it all almost felt right. It almost made sense. In the darkness of the night there was nothing but the two of them, no beginning, no end, and if a cruel future loomed somewhere out of sight, it did not matter. The words they spoke to each other in strangled whispers were nothing more but empty wishes but Daniel listened as though they were the most beautiful aria, and Alexander let him.  
  
But you are not her and I cannot love you, he thought as he buried his face in the younger man's hair and inhaled the bitter scent of his mortality.  


”When all this is over, we can be together,” Alexander told him, and only darkness saw the face of his deception. He watched quietly the Englishman's hand fall over and over again, striking down those he'd named unworthy without question or hesitation, and Alexander's lips showered him with praise afterwards until the dead look vanished from his eyes. He knew he was pushing too much and too far. He knew this, and he pushed ever more.

Alexander felt the Guardian circling closer and closer each day, its shrill cries growing hungrier. If the brunette had doubts he did not show them, and he accepted Alexander's answers with gratitude though the elder knew they were breaking him. I cannot love you, he told himself again, but it wasn't enough to ward off the guilt. I cannot, he repeated even as he lay beside the younger man, and buried his mantra of denial in their entangled bodies.  
  
”We are close,” he told Daniel between heated kisses, and the man delivered their shared violence without asking for reassurance.  
  
”Another,” he said, and Daniel saw his will done.  
  
”One more,” he commanded, and the man carved his unwavering loyalty in flesh and bones.  
  
”It's almost done,” Alexander assured him and pushed him down in the sheets. It came as an automation, mindlessly, without neither of them needing to think or consider, and Alexander preferred it that way. His hands held tight to the younger man's wrists as they brought their bodies together, over and over and over again until the night broke into that one last bitter morning, and Daniel kissed the lies falling off his lips like he was thirsty for them, as though they were the sweetest nectarine.

Alexander wouldn't have dreamed of stopping him.  
  
”It will all be over soon.”  
  
His love was just collateral damage, an acceptable sacrifice. This was what Alexander told himself as he left the Englishman to awaken alone. A flaw in the plan. He was only temporary.

Because he was not her, and he couldn't love him as he loved her.

**Author's Note:**

> I just really love writing sad things, okay. *shifty eyes*


End file.
